Another Day, Another Brain-Blast

Every time I hear this song, I want to write an epic space opera...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:23:08 -0500

Every time I hear this song, I want to write an epic space opera about an interstellar mining company’s rise and fall.

fuckyeahmovieposters: La guerra del ferro: Ironmaster Submitted...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:01:19 -0500

fuckyeahmovieposters:

La guerra del ferro: Ironmaster

Submitted by Alt-Milk

discowing: [JLA 16] If I may use that fine Morrison-written,...

Sat, 18 May 2013 18:01:11 -0500

discowing:

[JLA 16]

If I may use that fine Morrison-written, Porter-Dell-drawn, colorist-whose-name-I-forget-colored, Bruzenak-lettered panel as a springboard for my own musings…

Some people would kill to write Superman. I am a huge fan of Supes myself. But I wouldn’t kill to write him.

I’d kill to write Lois Lane.

Because Superman started out with so many advantages. He landed on the perfect planet for him. He was raised by perfect parents. He met perfect friends in Smallville. He grew up with all the superpowers you can think of. People automatically love him.

Lois Lane (the one I grew up reading about, anyway) grew up with none of those advantages, and plenty of disadvantages.

And she took the hand life dealt her, flushed it down the toilet, and kicked life in the teeth until it gave her what she damn well deserved. And she did it on her own. No Super-help.

If Lex Luthor symbolizes the worst in us, and Superman symbolizes our ideal selves, Lois Lane symbolizes the best we can truly be. She has his unshakable moral compass and his bravery, but she doesn’t have the powers. And she does what’s right anyway. And Superman stands in awe of that.

That’s the thing a lot of writers miss about the character, and it’s why the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship doesn’t ever end up working. He is not her hero; she is his.

How could you not want to write that character?

How To Design Non-Sexualized Outfits For Your Female Characters

Sat, 18 May 2013 11:35:00 -0500

(BTW, ain’t it creepy how women are sexualized so often that the word we commonly use to describe the opposite of that is the same word with an additional prefix attached?)

1. Think of an outfit.

1a. Pretend for a moment the character is A) completely genderless, or B) a dude. (NOTE: This is an optional step. Use only if ~~there is something fundamentally wrong with your perception of the world~~ you have trouble imagining ~~that women are people~~ a woman’s taste in clothing.) Does the outfit look good on them? If not, skip to Conclusion B.

2. Ask yourself if the character would wear that outfit in a public place. If she would, why would she? If she wouldn’t, automatically skip to Conclusion B.

3. Open a new document in your word processor and type out your justification for the outfit. If it’s so ludicrous that you cannot finish typing it, skip automatically to Conclusion B.

4. Read over your justification. Cross out anything you could not read out loud to another human being. Watch out for “lore excuses” such as the following:

“Every woman on her planet dresses that way.” The planet you made up?

“Her chainmail bikini is enchanted to provide the defense of a full suit of plate armor.” Funny, you would think she would enchant her suit of plate armor to be as light as a bikini. Less embarrassing.

“Her parents were killed by a fully-clothed man, so she doesn’t wear anything.” I do not know of anyone dumb enough to use this excuse, but I sort of wish I did, because it’s so stupid that it’s almost beautiful. Included purely for laffs.

“She favors maneuverability over defense/comfort.” There are these things called t-shirts…

“She’s an exhibitionist.” Okay, but I hope you’re going to treat that trait of hers seriously in the text as opposed to just throwing it in there purely to justify her outfit’s skimpiness.

“She’s a stripper/prostitute.” Stripping and prostitution are jobs with advantages and drawbacks just like any other job, so this is technically allowed. However, I personally think that if you’re not willing to interview actual strippers and/or prostitutes as research (up to and including paying them for their time), you aren’t allowed to make a stripper and/or a prostitute your main character.

Et cetera. Anything that feels like an excuse to show off your character’s tits should be thrown in the garbage and set afire.

5. If the outfit passes all the tests above, Conclusion A is in effect.

Conclusion A: HUGE SUCCESS. Congratulations, you have created an outfit your character would be caught dead in! Now repeat the process until you have a stable of “looks” for your character.

Conclusion B: FAIL. Throw it out, punch yourself in the junk, and start over. If it is particularly embarrassing, make a note of it so your character can wear it reluctantly as a Wacky Disguise.

(NOTE: This list does not necessarily apply to pornographic or cheesecake-y stories, but see what happens if you follow the instructions anyway, if only for giggles.)

architectureofdoom: North Exit, Nishijin, Kyoto, Japan(via...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:01:02 -0500

architectureofdoom:

North Exit, Nishijin, Kyoto, Japan

(via kamawanai)

I love how people think anime architecture is exaggerated.

Carter Burwell’s haunting theme from Joel and Ethan...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 07:58:32 -0500

Carter Burwell’s haunting theme from Joel and Ethan Coen’s noir masterpiece Miller’s Crossing, which you need to watch right effing now if you haven’t seen it.

Seriously. Right now. Drop what you’re doing and watch this thing. It’ll stick with you.

mattfractionblog: METROPOLIS “Film programme booklet produced...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 18:01:22 -0500

mattfractionblog:

METROPOLIS

“Film programme booklet produced for the London premiere of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis at the Marble Arch Pavilion on March 21, 1927. Not only a list of cast and crew, it includes eleven short pieces on the making of the movie, commentary from the director and cast, and numerous production photographs and film stills, many attractively arranged as modernist collages. One of the most interesting sections shows in parallel columns how a passage of film scenes was adapted from the novel of the same name by Lang’s wife, Thea von Harbou.” (source)

(via)

I have no idea when this is from, but I feel horrible for this...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 00:02:04 -0500

I have no idea when this is from, but I feel horrible for this man. He is so clearly unable to wrap his head around the very concept of Hatsune Miku, and so visibly struggling not to betray that to the audience.

That the script was clearly written by a Japanese person with a tenuous command of English only makes it worse. ”The challenge was successfully carried out” is a grammatically correct phrase, but it is not a phrase any English-speaking human being who was not reading a script has ever said, because the syntax is nightmarish.

His fumbling delivery of his lines and the random extreme close-ups of his eyeballs frantically searching for something around him that makes a modicum of sense don’t exactly help matters, either. It’s a commercial for a frivolous app designed to sell pizzas that’s filmed more like an interrogation scene in a Bourne film. The effect is deeply unsettling

If someone laid the infrasound from the rape scene in Irréversible underneath the audio in this video, I don’t think I’d ever be able to sleep again.

blessyoupineapple: vtrio: I know i have little to no...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 03:03:55 -0500

blessyoupineapple:

vtrio:

I know i have little to no followers, but please help if you can. my family and I love our dog very much. she is very precious to me. we are all devastated.

SHIT MAN???

SIGNAL BOOSTING THE F**K OUT OF THIS

I don’t live anywhere near California and I’m still boosting the hell out of this signal.

mythologyofblue: Giuseppe Arcimboldo, Portrait of Eve, oil on...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 18:00:57 -0500

mythologyofblue:

Giuseppe Arcimboldo, Portrait of Eve, oil on canvas, 1578, private collection. (via appendixjournal)

Presented without comment.

"It is impossible to write intelligently about anything even marginally worth writing about, without..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:01:18 -0500

“It is impossible to write intelligently about anything even marginally worth writing about, without writing too obscurely for a great many readers, and particularly for those who refuse as a matter of principle to read with care and to consider what they have read.”

- Gene Wolfe, Castle Of Days.

Spitting Embers: Y’know, I shouldn’t be this distressed about joining a nearby writer’s...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 13:54:31 -0500

Spitting Embers: Y’know, I shouldn’t be this distressed about joining a nearby writer’s...:

shinjishazaki:

Y’know, I shouldn’t be this distressed about joining a nearby writer’s group, but I can’t for the fucking life of me think of how to cut down anything I’ve written into two page excerpts.

It doesn’t help that I am irrationally scared of revealing either my fan fiction roots or the intense levels…

If anyone gives you any shit, here’s a foolproof method to shut their asshole mouth:

• Listen to their bullshit quietly, with a placid smile on your face.

• Don’t say anything.

• When they ask you why you aren’t saying anything, you say, “Oh, I’m just commiting your words to memory.”

• When they ask why, tell ‘em the only reason you’re attending is to do some research for your new novel about writer’s groups in northern California.

• If you wanna add an extra kick to it, tell them a movie studio has shown “a little interest.” If pressed, say the following: “Jim at Focus - you know, Focus Features? - was really impressed with the first couple of chapters.” If they ask who “Jim” is, laugh the smuggest laugh you can muster and say, “Oh, I’m sorry! Jim Schamus at Focus?”

• Let ‘em twist. :)

Children's Shows Don't Belong to You

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 18:01:15 -0500

jmandrake:

We’ve all seen the theories, repeated and twisted ad nauseum to fit nearly every children’s show. Angelica dreamed up the other Rugrats. Even the humans at Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends were imaginary. The events that took place in Codename: Kids Next Door were just kids playing make believe. Phineas and Ferb exist only in Candace’s head. Ash Ketchum was just in a coma. Harry Potter dreamed Hogwarts because he couldn’t handle his abuse by the Dursleys. And on and on and on.

There seems to be a compulsion among young teens and adults to reclaim these shows for themselves, and for them, that means placing these stories within a tragic context that better fits their worldview, a paradigm in which optimistic stories centered around children could not possibly, believably exist in the real world. When these theories crop up, they go viral, usually with accompanying comments uttered in reverent tones along the lines of “I can never look at this show the same way again,” as if the theory has pulled back the curtain and revealed The Truth about an innocent show that many internet users enjoyed as children. In other words, the theory becomes more valid than the text or the show itself. We substitute the humor, the hope, and the ideology of children’s fiction with run-of-the-mill “it was all a dream” psychological horror, and by doing so, we throw a giant middle finger to the critically important messages these shows convey.

The whimsical tone of Rugrats centered around kids who never quite understood the adult world; they misconstrued words and events and spun their own ideas out of them, and it was a better world, simply because we as the audience were allowed to look at mundane adult things like taxes and car washes in fresh, ultrapositive ways. Phineas and Ferb is a joyously optimistic show about the power of invention and creativity, a world in which children are never asked to hold themselves back and are never cruel to one another. So many fantasy series allow us to find an essential truth of human experience, that hope and friendship and good will can overcome darkness, by showing us a world we can’t always see but is always there, just as Hogwarts is hidden from our Muggle eyes. These stories are equally as valid, if not more so, than our “adult” stories that show the world as a more brutal place. They can both be true, but stories only have the power that we assign to them. If we continue to insist that positive, hopeful stories are unbelievable, then we create a world in which those stories lose their power, and our world reflects that change.

The stories we tell children shape our future. There’s a reason we need those happy endings, and it’s not because children are too weak to handle the “truth” about the world. It’s because we as a society need to be reminded that kindness and hope have power. Children need stories that allow them to be heroes, that value their insight, their ideas, and their narratives. We need stories that empower, not stories that dwindle away into hopeless cynicism. We do not need to insist that fictional stories cannot exist on their own terms, that even fantasy worlds must be fantasies within their own story. It’s backwards, it’s hopeless, it’s wrong-headed. These stories aren’t yours to claim. They aren’t yours to “correct.” These stories belong to children, and thankfully, they’re stories full of more hope and power than anything the internet could ever come up with. Why would you ever try to tear them down?

I’m following this person. Why aren’t you?

tinycartridge: Arino lobbies for a Luigi cameo in Retro Game...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 18:01:01 -0500

tinycartridge:

Arino lobbies for a Luigi cameo in Retro Game Challenge

I’ll leave it so someone else to tell us which episode this is from (the GIFs are from Goomba Shoe). If you also want to update us on the status of Game Center CX 2’s fan translation, feel free to chime in :o)
BUY Retro Game Challenge, Retro Game Master DVD set

I want to marry the zoom in that last shot.

By the way, Retro Game Challenge was amazing and ~~screw all of you for not buying it~~ you should own a copy.

scanzen: Liebe und Sorgfalt umgibt die Kinder der Stadt. Photo:...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 18:01:39 -0500

scanzen:

Liebe und Sorgfalt umgibt die Kinder der Stadt. Photo: Hellmut Opitz. In: Hellmut Opitz (Ilop) fotografiert Karl-Marx-Stadt. VEB F. A. Brockhaus Verlag Leipzig, 1965.

Love and care surround the children of the city.

“Love and care” were not the first words that sprang to mind when I saw this.

On The Violence In Bioshock Infinite

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 18:01:02 -0500

This was originally a comment I left on this article, but I liked it enough that I felt it deserved its own space. So:

Have not completed the game, don’t spoil it for me. May not even visit this comment thread again, in fact.

That being said, I’d argue that if the violence in Infinite bothered you, it did exactly what it was supposed to do. As with the racism, the oppression, the religious zealotry, and all the rest of it, the violence is there to reinforce not just that Columbia is a false paradise, but that there is no real paradise anywhere as long as humans are who they are. Paradise never comes of denying one’s nature, and yet Columbia is a city full of excuses.

Where I think the disconnect comes in is that most violent games are just, well, violent. There are almost no moments where you “stop to smell the roses” in Halo or Half-Life 2, because there’s no point to that. You get the narrative moments in between the violent moments, but they’re always about justifying the next violent moment.

The narrative portions of Infinite, by contrast, are all about the false promise of escape from violence and its consequences. Columbia itself is a monument to that principle; “If we live in the sky, away from the Sodom Below, we can live in peace.” That’s the dream Comstock sells his flock on, even as he himself floated up into the sky to escape the consequences of razing Peking. Booker’s the same way; he’s running from himself and his past, but he can’t deny his nature.

Elizabeth is the lynchpin of the game because she’s something of a tabula rasa. Things have been done TO her by people following their natures, but she has no nature she’s aware of. All she has is a “nurture,” if you like. She’s innocent. I don’t know what happens to her over the course of the game; I’ve only just gotten her. But it seems to me as though the reason everyone covets her so is because her powers represent escape to them. If she can tear open reality, they can escape theirs. So, paradoxically, she is denied escape from their desire for escape.

But just as everywhere Booker goes, violence follows, so too does violence follow us as players. And we enjoy it, because it is in our nature to enjoy it. We claim over and over again to want to escape it, but we whine and say something “isn’t a game” if we can’t do violence to something, because we want challenges. What’s being detected by players who want less violence is, to me, not ludonarrative dissonance within Bioshock Infinite, but our cognitive dissonance when we play other games. We write it off as, “Well, I can’t do anything else.” But put a gun in our hand, give us melee assassination prompts, whatever, and we will become the monsters we say we aren’t simply to overcome the latest obstacle.

By putting players in the shoes of a violent man who denies his nature, Irrational has said, “Recognize him?” And we do, and we don’t like what we see, so we complain that Bioshock Infinite has too much violence, because that’s easier than admitting that we have become too accustomed to it.

That’s what I think, anyway.

BTW, I do want to say one other thing: whether or not you agree with me or anyone else on this page, doesn’t it feel great to have a genuine adult discussion about a video game for once? The reactions to Infinite’s violence that I’ve seen, whether I’ve agreed with them or not, have all felt to me like reactions to a great and provocative film or book. And I don’t mean that in a bad way; I’m not saying we’re looking at it as a movie with game bits grafted on, or whatever. I’m saying that we’re not comparing it to other media at all, but using the developing vocabulary of the medium to talk about the game’s place in that medium.

Compare that to just a few years ago, when reviews of GTA IV unabashedly praised or damned the game in filmic terms. For all the growing the medium still needs to do, it’s lovely to be talking about games as an equivalent to films or books rather than a descendent of them, you know?

That Moment

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 15:23:50 -0500

…When you’ve been writing something for a while, and you scroll up to see what you have so far, and the sum total of your effort wouldn’t fill up the first page of an airport paperback.

It’s a heartbreaker.

Things That Annoy Me In Prose Fiction, Part #27484868949-B.1

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 17:15:40 -0500

When a character laughs like this:

“Ha! Ha! Ha!”

You see it a lot in 19th Century novels, and I’m sure it seemed dandy as a representation of laughter back then. Perhaps a bit of research I am not willing to do just now will show that white people in the 19th Century bunched their laughs into discrete crowlike squawks on account of their terminal sexual frustration.

But when I read a story, and a character laughs like that, the bawdy governess or affable chimney sweep I am meant to love turns suddenly into a chiaroscuro nightmare straight out of some hideous old Victorian children’s book about Little Colin who was beaten to death by a policeman for spilling soup on Mummy’s new dress.

Which, y’know, is distracting.

Thought For The Night

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 03:33:08 -0500

Think about how often you laugh at something your friends say, or how often they laugh at something you say.

Now think about how often you see characters in stories (by which I mean movies, comics, books, etc.) laugh at each other’s jokes.

A lot less, right?

Isn’t that weird?

A Fool Such As I

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:36:14 -0500

That awkward moment when you think of a funny April Fool’s gag you could do on your site at like 5PM on April 1st, and then you realize it would be too much work to actually get it on the site before the day’s over.

Siiiiiiiigh.

As a consolation prize, I will tell you what the gag was going to be. A post and attendant site redesign wherein I rechristened the page as “The World’s #1 Double Trouble Fansite!”

Unfortunately, I’m a slow writer, so typing up a few posts by “famous contributors to the fandom like PaulDavid89, mcgonagallsundershirt, HoMegatron420, and MrCBillCaine” would require way more effort on my part than the joke would be worth - and that’s assuming I could think of stuff to say in at least four different writing styles about a movie so unremarkable that it has so far ducked past even Wikipedia’s all-seeing gaze.

So. Er. Yeah. Sorry.

Maybe next year…